It’s summertime again, and that means all those music festivals are back in gear. Three or four different stages with different bands playing, vendor tents charging eight dollars for a hot dog, undercover cops trying desperately to blend in with the young crowd to bust kids with weed… and, at every festival, a guy like this. Here he comes, amazing his way through the crowd with his devil sticks, click-clacking in your face. Maybe he’ll distract you with your two-foot tall rainbow shag carpet hat and then come at you juggling foot-sacks or spitting fire. Or you maybe you get accosted by this guy, with a shrimp dick on his head, rolling two pentacles over and around each other on a Moebius strip he made from a garden hose. They’ll kick you out of the Ren Faire for shit like that, so you have no choice but to work the music festival circuit and you spend all day playing an African drum and pissing patchouli oil.
So what’s the meaning of this card? Something, an actual product type thing is headed your way, perhaps from the sea. Did you order another vaguely animal shaped vibration device from Hong Kong? It’s almost here! And while that is cause for celebration, try to remain balanced. Don’t go overboard, but don’t be a fun martyr, either. Do a little dance. Breathe a little fire. Then watch the news, go to bed and dream about Randy, the Tickle Giraffe**, lovingly hand made in China.
**Batteries not included
YOUR HOROSCOPE 6/25/2012:
This is not a day to spend much time outdoors. However, it is not advised to stay indoors much, either. Spend most of the day in your car, rolling the windows down once every half hour.