The second dream I was in a graveyard. The same ex-bf had died (No, I didn't kill him.) and I was burying him. By myself. Me and a shovel. When I was finished I planted a tree on his grave. Upside down. X & Ice found me and I told them what had happened.
How's that for a slice of fried GTFO?
This particular ex-bf was Wiccan. Very, in every sense of the phrase, neo-Pagan Wiccan. We argued often. Which usually ended in me walking away fuming. He's a Sagittarius and he's never wrong (insert eye roll here). My entire relationship with him was spent me practicing his way at home & searching for a group to join on my own outside of that dynamic. As I have already mentioned, neither of those groups panned out. In the past months & weeks I have pondered the piecemeal pseudo-religion of modern Paganism, neo-Paganism as I said previously, that so many people find after leaving Christianity and cling to like a life raft. Little bit of this, little bit of that, string it all together and call yourself Wiccan. Or worse yet, set up a Traditional Wiccan Circle, call in the Guardians of the Watchtowers, use a Wiccan degree system complete with Initiation Rituals straight up out of the fucking Wiccan Bible but call on Celtic Deities and call yourself a Druid and your Group a Druidic Grove. Mhmmmm, that happened. Been there.
Anyway, I'm so DONE with it. I don't even want to call myself Pagan anymore, but don't really have a better name for it. I mean, technically, I AM a Pagan. Mostly Agnostic, but still.
My focus has/is shifting. The coming year is going to find me fine tuning my Craft and cutting out the bullshit.
So mote it fucking be.